When I wrote the first part of this post, I never anticipitated the stream of comments, advice and smiley's that were awaiting me and I didn't expect that there would be a second part because that day was one of those character defining, life altering, choose your path kind of days for me and the constant palpatation and pounding heartbeat weren't a good sign.
I sat across from Ex, hearing him fill me in on his life as it had been in the past 5 months since I left. A mix of emotions were surging through him, I would say, perhaps because I was going through the same damn thing.
A melancholy memory, a happy sigh, a joyful reunion with lost love mixed with an increasing feeling of nausea...my mind is a mess to say the least.
No I don't love you anymore Ex, but yes I do miss you. Yes I think about you often, but no I don't fill my days with thoughts of you and our relationship.
He wants to be friends, I don't think that is even feasible. Friends after a five year relationship? Can that ever be a no-strings attached proposition?
Are you saying there was no intensity, no love, no emotions between us...no Im not saying that retorts the Ex. Well then if all those things existed between us then there can never be a 'we are just pals' situation. So leave it alone.
I am being cold is it? Well yes I am. But its not about being cold, its about being sensible and preserving whatever little sanity you might have left.
Getting over Ex was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. And Im not about to undo all of that. So this is it. The Ex is blacklisted from my thoughts and my blog.
A heavy heart and a single tear...