Monday, February 21, 2011

Random Rambler by day, Closet Columnist by night...

... And her name is the Mistress of Vices.

She's back! Well sort of.

For all those who are still reading this or might check in for any updates (I am truly surprised and grateful that you are), SIM is now putting her much maligned ideology down on paper. Catch my two (perverted) cents in the monthly column titled Mistress of Vices for FHM India.

Already at a newsstand near you in the February edition.

Love and lust,

Thursday, June 25, 2009

If In Time...

If in time, I do realize, this path I chose to trudge is only mine... Lit with pride and gumption and a force benign... Unmasked and stripped of all glory divine. With nothing but resolve to steady my sight, I stand firm on virtues ever so unkind. Be proud now and forever more, for life is but a journey, to the end of your soul.

Yesterday I argued with a friend about how morality is the most malleable and abused of all human virtues. Cos the periphery of one persons sense of morality might be the infringement of another's. Also we tend to tweak our definition and understanding of what is morally acceptable and what isn't based on our own situation. How then can you sit on a moral high horse and judge others?

Be happy, be humble, be honest and be true. Those are the only virtues worth embracing and the only values worth undertaking.

It's your life, live it well.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Forgotten One

I saw it from afar... A faded image time had marred.
The silhouette of a girl piercing through otherwise vacant art.
Perhaps caught in a moment of abandon, dear to her heart.

Dressed in colours bright, with eyes black as tar.
Her mane fiercer than wind, rendered desires unmasked.
The face of an angel, lit by the glory of a hidden laugh.

Her journey unfolds, as she set out for the world at large.
Every scar unseen, she weaves in songs laid stark...
Of the melancholic beauty of life, that she lived on a lark.

Longing for a hand to hold, something new to start.
Wandering in hope, bursting with a hidden spark.
Dreaming like a child, ready to touch the stars.

She was the girl I saw in a photograph.
Look in the mirror, you can't tell us apart.
But she's a stranger... A ghost in the dark.

That girl was me, before she became my past.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A Forlorn Hope...

He fights the darkness, as she rests in the grace of the night...
Nesting in the shadows of his warm embrace, her eternal beauty takes flight.

Hiding behind the bosom of her ever kind generosity,
he seeks shelter from that which brews steadily.

Thou craves her so, just as much as she needs thee...
But however may they try, faith hatches devious plans mischievously.

For in his freedom lies the capture of her soul.
When she weeps for him, his heart rages ever more.
When he loves, she sinks deeper in the fold.
Yet one bereft of the other, leaves the story untold.

She, the never-ending blue sky with her pristine virtue and pulchritude.
He, the glorious lightning bolt that jolts her peaceful abode.

Floating upon this surface for the birds, their saga soars.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Veni. Vidi. Vici.

My life has taken a 360° turn in the last three months of this year. This time has taught me three important lessons. So here are my revelations, explained perfectly in the three words uttered by one of my favourite heroes from history: Julius Caesar.

Veni (I came)

I came to the conclusion that love is fleeting, success is momentary and friendships are fickle. Which means it is all transitory.

Contrary to these revelations appearing to be a major let down, I have never been happier. Cos now I realize that the one true thing I need to be happy is me, myself and I. It is when one tries to find their own worth in others or in outwardly actions that the dejection comes. The three things I hold dearest to my heart and the source of all my joy until now have been given and taken away from me throughout these months but I reckon it is all for the best. I (re)discovered and then subsequently lost a dear love. I earned a great job solely based on merit but then was made to question whether I deserved it. I found a new sole sister for life but had to break equally important old ties.
I now know that happiness lies within ones self and I am at peace with myself and content with what comes my way.

Vidi (I saw)

I saw what life is like from the other side of the spectrum. A place where there are no boundaries, no questions and no restrictions.

My daily existence is marred by a constant juggling act between reality and the surreal. Born into a household of tradition, orthodoxy and religion... I am an ultra-modern, free-spirited atheist. For the first time in my life, I was living on my own, in a new city, immersed in sin. From the hassles of having to make my own cup of coffee in the morning to worrying about the no-show of the maid. From the worrisome laundry bill to the irksome grocery shopping. From the less than enthusiastic morning trudge to get the newspaper to the uninhabited painting the town red at night. I did it all, and enjoyed every moment. Soaking in each memory to last me a lifetime.
The days made me understand how precious independence really is. I need to reclaim my own independence again, some day soon.

Vici (I conquered)

I conquered a fear that had plagued me for a long time. That of self-doubt. I learnt how to relinquish control, not try and hold onto everything too tight and just let myself be.

As a sworn control freak I tend to over-analyze, re-think and be unnecessarily critical about whatever I do in life cos I worry about what will happen if I do not do everything perfectly and how others will perceive me. That behaviour has in the past led me away from many a good moments and wrecked me with constant worrying. Now I have loosened the noose I had put on my life and done what I never would've done before. I go with my gut instinct and not what I consider to be the appropriate thing to do.
It has made me into a better individual who is willing to take more risks and not always do what's right.

As perhaps one of my most tumultuous, action-packed and emotionally draining years draws to a close... I am ready for the one ahead.
It's a fresh playing field. I am a changed person. I have a better attitude. I got a new job. I've found deliciously new mistakes to make. Bring it on 2009!

Friday, November 28, 2008

The City of Screams...

There are some situations that shake the collective human spirit, ignite the mind and evoke inspired words... Then there are situations such as the one unfolding in the heart of my motherland, as I write, that just makes one feel trapped, helpless and broken.

Mumbai, India, 2:25 pm

41 hours and counting... The city of dreams is still under siege. Two edifices that have up until now defined the landscape of the commercial capital of India have over the course of 2 nights been converted into the base of a new kind of urban battleground. Of the kinds previously unseen and perhaps unimaginable.

The operation is well on its way to completion it seems. Both hotels are under the control of the security forces, finally. But as I sit with a constant, uninterrupted stream of images flashing across the TV screens, my mind is still coming to terms with the gravity and magnitude of the loss. One ex-colleague missing and unaccounted for. One friend shot dead point blank. Another struggling for dear life. Along with countless other acquaintances, friends of friends and even strangers.

Never before have I felt as human and mortal as I do now, praying for those I have never met and perhaps never will while cursing the wretched ones who caused this pain.
Most of the people I know have one collective reaction: Counter-attack!
I grieve for those who died and those who lost their loved ones just as much but I do believe that violence begets violence. It becomes a vicious circle and it never stops. And it shall begin now. The finger pointing, the accusations, the guns, the bombs and the plans. We bear witness to an age of suspended warfare. Now we will see how its victims will react.

I won't go into statistics. There are enough concerned citizens already doing that. I just hope for peace. And wish that the screams won't go unheard. God speed!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bittersweet Bow

Quickie status check
I can't believe I did it but I finally, actually, really quit. It was long overdue and needed so badly cos I stopped growing in this job about six months back. From then on, it was just another day and another issue to get to press. The media freebies helped ease the pain of course :)
But frankly I can't live like this for long. The obvious reasons for sticking around this long were all monetary. Which reminds me... I don't think I've paid my wi-fi bill this month, so you never know when I'll be cut off.

Since I am still connected, might as well ramble a little...

Today was my last day and I'll just say it was melancholic, exciting and bittersweet all at the same time. Having worked at this place for almost two and a half years has made it my second home. The colleagues are almost like a surrogate family. And the pathetic excuse for a coffee probably runs through my veins along with blood. But today I had to say goodbye and I so suck at it. I have these long pauses and awkward half hugs for fear of coming across too strong. Terrible habit.

Oh golly, the net is still working!

Rather than save or be judicious (as if), I took all my meagre savings and invested them in buying a much needed new laptop. Yay for Mac! And for getting my hands on some budget air tickets so I can start my birthday month as an unemployed, aimless, carefree vagabond in Goa. Yes, that was my birthday resolution and I am actually doing it come tomorrow morning.
So while I am off being a beach bum, hoping not to freak out about the fact that I have nothing to do once I am back (cue the panic attack), you guys & gals have a good one. I gracefully bow out of the ranks of the useful, employed masses as my first vacation in one and a half years beckons.
And the connection seems to be losing strength, so cheers!