So the 'Older Man' fought his way back into my life last week. He huffed and puffed and then some...threw fits and asked nicely...pleaded and shouted. All in the same vein and I finally relented. Hesistantly, unsure of the consequences of my forgiveness and if I do admit to myself, in a rather stupid unthought of move that might as well come back to bite me in the ass!
For the past month since my earlier post on him and the subsequent cleansing my life of his toxic presence bit that followed, I had been happy. Happy to just be. No complications, potential heartburns and what not. I ran into him every now and then at the neighbourhood bar or coffee shop. In case I forgot to mention, he lives walking distance from my house, so avoiding him completely wasn't an option.
Then one fine day, after a particulary wierd and awkward meeting, where he happened to catch me on a date...the incessant calls and messages began. I know what you are gonna say to that one...typical jealous male behaviour right? Ah uh...so wrong!
The truth of the matter is that before all this stupid mess, we were really good friends...the kind you laugh over dumb mistakes and cry for broken relationships with...meet for coffee at midnight after a long day or a drinking session and go for impromptu drives to devour chicken kathi's with...sit on the terrace and smoke marlboro's with and bully them to go along for inane chick flicks too.
And we both miss that terribly, more than anything else. Sure the past between us means that things might never be the same again but at the end of the day, friendship is more important. Pointing fingers at each other and playing the blame game never helped anyone. Wow I almost sound like an adult for once :P
Well it took a long, intense and not entirely pleasant conversation to get to this point and I feel relieved if nothing else.
Taking it one day at a time...and with a good pal back in my platonic life...I am onto some other greener pastures.
There you see, as I said...Old habits die hard ;)
13 comments:
the trouble arises when a great friendship turns into potential intimacy and platonic turns tectonic shift. i wonder how we humans always confuse our emotions; one day we are friends, next day we are _____ (we fill these blanks under a cloudy atmosphere) and then suddenyl we start hating them. before you realise, you are out of their lives. Any attempt to revisit or reignite that, is not futile but we humans systematically deconstruct the attempt. Why and when did homo sapiens turned this way, moonstruck wonders?
glad to hear you let it out SIM, one does feel relieved.
the homosapiens are a complex breed moonie...and our emotions are just as warped...I've messed up more than one friendships but now am trying to get atleast one back on course.
good luck. hope it happens well in time and.. well.. ya!! :)
i wonder why does everyone call me moonie
if only the homo sapiens behaved more like canines!
LOL @ Moonie....
i tell you, he'd much prefer we called him Maniac. but moonie would do. rather sweet, no?!
(blush blush) :D
yes JB, it is indeed sweet!
and i agree with the canine part. there is a quote by Johnny Depp - dogs and kids are perfect symbols of pure innocence.
not the exact quote but the sense is here
well, sounds like its been a bit of a crazy roller coaster for you, but the main thing is that instead of getting sucked back into the old mistakes, you stayed solid.
and theres nothing long with old habits, so long as you realise that like relationships, they adapt and modify with the passage of time...
hope it all works out for you.
cheers..
you are not writing!!!!
@ moonie
sigh...yes perhaps it is the calm before the storm! :P
@ the dude
thanks for your words...I hope so too :)
good one..
@ invincible
thanks man. appreciate it :)
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