Friday, March 30, 2007

Blast From The Past...

You know that sinking feeling one gets sometimes when the phone rings? Tring, tring...something is wrong, I don't feel right...who could be calling? Tring, tring (louder this time) damn, why is the phone getting louder, as if screeching to be picked up (oh, wait its the ascending ring tone option in my cell!) Last tring...I finally find the damn thing under a pile of files at my workstation. Its him, the 'formidable ex', the only semblance of a long term relationship I could ever have hoped to sustain, the man I haven't spoken to in the past 5 months.
I pick up unsure, hesitantly, at the last possible second, hoping he'll cut the phone...
Ex: Hey, how've you been?
Moi: Hey, good...umm what about you?
Ex: Great, I got placed at this big firm. Just got out of the interview and wanted to call you.
Moi: Congrats! That is good news.
(yes I sound braindead...can you blame me? I am in shock!)
Ex: Meet me for coffee today S.I.M please, I wanna share a good moment with you.
Moi: Uh...I am at work, not sure if I can get out.
(lame excuse I know, thats the best I could come up with)
Ex: Don't make excuses S.I.M, spare an hour. That is all I want. For old times sake if nothing else.
Moi: Umm...okay...5'o clock @ Barista
Ex: Great, I'll see you there. Thanks.
My palms are sweating and my heart is pulsating at an abnormally high rate. No good can come from this. Am I too young for a heart attack?

See Moonie, I told you it is the calm before the storm...whenever things are going smooth, I await a bump. This one is a big one! Lord help me...

21 comments:

Still Searching said...

Best of luck!! The first meeting after breaking up is usually the hardest! If you can get past that, you've made it! :)

InExile said...

i hope it all went well !
some blasts can be charming too !

Zee said...

oh dear.......how did it go? i find these thigs extremely scary

moonstruck maniac said...

hmmmm! So, how did it go? I have been quite unlucky with these meeting-for-a-coffee things so would refrain from passing a remark.
But like ruchika said, if you can get over it (i hope you did), then you've made it. let us know!

SIM said...

@ ruchika
thanks. well I got past it...he didn't it seems.

@ inexile
went well will be an exaggeration...it was like ripping off a bandage...has to be done.

@ zee
not too good, read underneath...

@ moonie
I am quite unlucky at almost all of such things. and it went terribly. he wants to get back and I don't have the heart to say anything that could potentially hurt him...so basically I am reduced to dodging calls and making excuses about why I can't meet him. It sucks!

moonstruck maniac said...

well i suggest (not that you asked) dont be a dodger but face him. i mean, a guy, who you think would be hurt, will call and text you more when he learns you are avoiding him. if he hasnt gotten over this, you will get more calls for sure. and for both of you, it will suck for a long time if you dodge things.
so i can only hope (and not trying to preach you anything) that SiM has the heart to do so.
your call!!!! Smile, for the situation cant be worsened any more. cheers and now you smile!!!

Amit said...

we men wake up exactly 4 months (its uncanny but the number is exact time and again), after a breakup. ecatly 4 months down, we wake up on a morning and we realize that the smell and the contentment and even the breathing that we knew AND took for granted is what we had always wanted in life. but, more often than not, its too late by then. but trust me SIP(thats the rite way to call you, correct?), there was never a better man than one thats just woken up. another chance is all we need. oh well!

Anonymous said...

It's good that you don't want to get back, but know that if you do you're the world's biggest coward, liar, and bitch... And the latter two would be aimed at yourself, for how you'd be putting yourself through another doomed session with the guy that wasn't the best. Everyone deserves the best. I'm sure he's out there, or already in your life and you just don't see it yet. Don't be that bitch.

SIM said...

@ moonie
true it can't get any worse...I am not dodging intentionally but at a time when work absorbs your life and you have 15 mins free in the day for yourself, I refuse to fret over bygones...even if that makes me a bitch!

@ amit
Its SIM actually. the shortform of my blog name and unfortunately the man who just woke up isn't the best for me (as I have blogged too often about)...as for your 4 month theory, sounds interesting, tell me more :)

@ yet another
I am a bitch, but no I am not that bitch or a liar...I know there is something better out there and I am waiting.

moonstruck maniac said...

that doesnt make you a bitch dude. in a position like urs, no one would do that. fretting takes slightly longer than 15 minutes anyway. sometimes the wait is worth it. (dunno how long would I wait)
and i kinda agree with amit about the 4-month syndrome. it actually happens like that. when you are sleeping, you just wish she is in front of you smiling, riding a bike is so imcomplete without her hug, her laughter over a glass of vodka etc etc etc.

have a vodka!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yep, I was right, good thing indeed, let's hope this one makes the cut.
Oh and Amit, your number was off here, she said five months :p
Moonstruck, by being that bitch I meant going back to it after saying what she had to say about it. That bitch, not 'A' bitch. Even if we wake up after four months, doesn't mean we deserve that second chance. We only get one chance. One first impression, one first kiss, one love for life. If you don't see what's in front of your face, or take it for granted, then you don't deserve it in the first place.
Good call SIM, I hope you make another good call too, for your sake. Well not just yours.

moonstruck maniac said...

you are right 'suffering'!!!!

Amit said...

nope, 4 months tis. as shakespeare would have said - that he's sad, tis true, tis true, tis pity. and pity tis true tis true.

Anonymous said...

Oh moonstruck, if only you knew what I was right about... Well you wouldn't, but unfortunately some others would.
I eagerly await the next set of inputs from this 'reborn(?)' Miss SIM ;)

Lil Mizfit said...

i meandered into ur blog....lady, u write so well!

SIM said...

@ moonie
plenty of vodka's moonie...one, two, three and counting. but I disagree with the 4 month theory, just coz you wake up doesn't mean you desearve kudos...just like ye another said

@ yet another
I suck at making good calls, am the queen of stupid decisions...and the 'reborn' bit I am not too sure about

@ amit
its only a number I believe...4, 5 or whatever :p

@ mizfit
thanks girl, I appreciate your comments :)

Anonymous said...

I don't know Ms. SIM, I have faith in you for this particular one I've got in mind. What do you have to lose?
Don't say peace of mind, from what you write, you have none anyway :p

moonstruck maniac said...

@ yet another - hmmmm ok (sorrry). and SiM, I didnt mean that we deserve kudos for that.

Anonymous said...

Miss SIM knows what I mean, lets leave it at that moonstruck.

Prasoon said...

Back from Barista or no???

Hello !!!

SIM said...

@ Prasoon
hehe yes I am back. got sidetracked for a bit, but will be active and up and about again...