Following in the same mood as my last post...
Fading away in the background, merging with the crowd, lost in the sea of monotony, over the din of a computer left in standby mode too long and a clatter of cluck, cluck, clack... That is my workspace. My daily prison. I loved my job. Notice the past tense. Writing on food and music was like a dream come true. Nevermind the peanuts they paid me in the name of a 'salary'. The perks in the form of an endless stack of music cd's, food reviews, wine tasting invites and gigs to attend kept me hale, happy and hearty. Nonwithstanding the two sizes it added to my 5 foot 7 inches frame.
Now, not so much. It gets old real fast they say, I think that process has started for me already. I have reached a stage in my job where I can sleep walk my way through every issue. My 'work shelf-life' has expired it seems. Okay that is a blatantly dangerous admission but what the heck. The creativity, the zest, the enthusiasm all wiped away by the indifference of The Man! My newspaper that is. And now I have a vague, nagging feeling that all my eccentricities are being drained away which automatically leads to no cooky, wacky writing by SIM. I am fighting this, real hard.
In the meanwhile brief update: I've decided to get inked. Am currently veering between two of my most favoured symbols from Egyptian mythology, being the ancient history geek that I am. Any suggestions anyone?
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
M.I.A
Life is a crazy 'comedy of errors' at times. My assumed identity S.I.M has been M.I.A for the past month and a half and my mind has been wiped clean, hence the no writing bit.
When one goes through tragic/life-altering moments, your mind goes into shock and there are no thoughts, views or opinions... Just a strange inquisitiveness. Why me? You ask yourself. It's not self-pity, neither wallowing in misery... It's merely a lack of zest and want. Completely devoid of emotion, good or bad, I have been floating through life rather aimlessly.
Or so I thought. During this wandering, I have managed to sleep walk my way through a more than satisfactory raise, a very eventful birthday, a close pal's wedding planning and also found someone capable of bringing a smile to my face everyday. Yet there is a strange yearning. Of something lost, or of something never found. And I have realized that I am the sort of person who can give up things easily... There seems to be nothing that I need to stick with or cling to for comfort. The most recent case in point being alcohol. Now some, ok lots of people turn to these 'spirits' for some upliftment. I used to be one of those. There was no amount of sleep deprivation, bad hair days, relationship blues or work woes that a JD and coke or a Vodka OJ couldn't solve and then one fine day, a month ago, I decided to stop. Just like that.
Some might call it depression. I don't. It is what it is. A general lull in life and I know everyone goes through it. And this too shall past. S.I.M will be back again baby!
When one goes through tragic/life-altering moments, your mind goes into shock and there are no thoughts, views or opinions... Just a strange inquisitiveness. Why me? You ask yourself. It's not self-pity, neither wallowing in misery... It's merely a lack of zest and want. Completely devoid of emotion, good or bad, I have been floating through life rather aimlessly.
Or so I thought. During this wandering, I have managed to sleep walk my way through a more than satisfactory raise, a very eventful birthday, a close pal's wedding planning and also found someone capable of bringing a smile to my face everyday. Yet there is a strange yearning. Of something lost, or of something never found. And I have realized that I am the sort of person who can give up things easily... There seems to be nothing that I need to stick with or cling to for comfort. The most recent case in point being alcohol. Now some, ok lots of people turn to these 'spirits' for some upliftment. I used to be one of those. There was no amount of sleep deprivation, bad hair days, relationship blues or work woes that a JD and coke or a Vodka OJ couldn't solve and then one fine day, a month ago, I decided to stop. Just like that.
Some might call it depression. I don't. It is what it is. A general lull in life and I know everyone goes through it. And this too shall past. S.I.M will be back again baby!
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