Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Breakup... (Part II)

Its been a week now. And im alright. I get to work every day, finish my assignments and deliberately spend each night surrounded by friends at some concert, play or the neighbourhood pub. So my day is too damn full to sit and sulk. I know, i know. This ain't healthy. But ignorance is bliss right? So yes, i am blissfully happy. And this is my way of dealing with it.
A very wise woman had said, 'stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truely happy. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.'
These words are my dictat for every relationship now. Coz as i explained to a fellow blogger, i gotta live with myself a whole lot longer than i live with any man. And at the end of the day, i should be able to look at myself in the mirror and not feel like i settled for anything less then the best.
But the best part about being single is that i actually get to live by myself. Now that is something i haven't done in a long time. Coz even when me and my ex took the on and off "breaks", the explore and experiment streak would take over. So in many ways, i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I can be selfish for a change. No ditching plans coz he's got last minute work, or not meeting that old flame for a drink since he's in town, or having to acccomodate my girl's night outs on the same day as his boys night, and i can finally return all those phone calls and sms's which i never got time for before. Yes i sound selfish enough now. That'll be all for once.
All in all, it's the breakup i gotta get over. The love will stay on for a long time to come.

12 comments:

Still Searching said...

Oh yeah! Def.. those are the best bits of being single.. not having to stop doing things you love coz they may hurt someone, going on a fun date with an old crush coz its ok, and u're not getting serious about it anyways... hanging out doing the things you cldn't do earlier... everyone needs these "days off" :-) Cheers to you!

SIM said...

@ ruchika
cheers to that girl. rebound here i come ;)

Unknown said...

'...love means you still have something left to betray...''

john le carre...

damn...!

InExile said...

stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truely happy. Don't stay because you think "it will get better.


You know this is such a negative way to deal with this stuff ... done in a positive open way these things do work out for the better , maybe this wasnt right and he was a jackass ... but you can say the above likes for everyone of your past/future relationships... thats bull-crap !! ... and turning bitter is one of the worst things that can ever happen to woman.. !! innoscence faded.. isnt pleasent !!

peu said...

"singledom" as i beleive after somthin that was never meant to be comes as a fresh air that you can feel inflating your lungs and purifying your blood that doesn really gush thru yer body or give a high but infact just makes you calm,making you relaxed if not smiling..not because the airs fresh but because you never paid attention to yourself breathing before..so breathe on!!

SIM said...

@ inexile
no he wasn't a jackass and im not bitter. i just believe that there are some things that one shudn't compromise on in a relationship or else u'll end up losing too much of your own self.

@ peu
yes, yes, yes..thats exactly how i feel :)

Anonymous said...

some very wise stuff and some very unwise stuff, s'ity !!

"The love will stay on for a long time to come." very wise indeed...

"i should be able to look at myself in the mirror and not feel like i settled for anything less then the best." ....very unwise indeed....you'll probably disagree and violently so, but the fact of the matter is that there's no point in wondering about best or not-best because no one can see into the future. You might also consider that He will also be wondering whether you're the best or not.

Etc etc.

Act, act in the living present. And Live, live and Love, love while you're at it.

SIM said...

@ lucky
i won't disagree violently with u. i know what ur saying makes sense. but the fact of the matter is that i can't explain why im behaving this way, until i unfold every nuance of the entire 5 years of my relationship with u, which ain't possible. so lets just say, i lived and loved passionately and gave my all...he did the same. but now was the right time, to move on :)

- Aye Davanita said...

I think that your emphatic dictat is subject to change - and I sincerely hope it does. Thats a horrible way to view any relationship you get into. The adage implies an easy out... the "getaway car". It would be unfortunate if you entered into a relationship with (a) the feeling that you're about to commit a crime and/or (b) a getaway car has already been prepared - in fact it comes standard (as your dictat!)

THAT... is setting yourself up for failure.

Want my advice? - go get laid - make yourself eggs, sausages and fresh orange juice the next morning, take a hot shower - switch it to cold for 2 mins. Get out - get dressed and move on.

SIM said...

ppl, ppl, ppl...contray to wat my words may imply...or seem to imply. i haven't become a bitter hag, scarred by love lost and determined to ruin every future relationship here on. these are words stemming out of my current state of mind. thx to all of u for ur support and advice...especially aye, i'll take that one seriously ;)
i'll live thru this, n i'll be back to normal soon.

- Aye Davanita said...

oh and Ms. Havisham... if you have trouble taking my advice literally- holla!

moonstruck maniac said...

things seem pretty ok; its perhaps the wrong crystal ball or the wrong mirror
but i take ur word for it that you will bounce back to normal. remember i take your word for it
cheers...